Supah Fly Ninja

Becoming a ninja is probably the most accomplished goal I can think of. A ninja doesn’t just know how to roundhouse kick or break some boards using a knife hand. A ninja develops discipline, self-control, integrity, and also techniques. My ninja qualifications can be proved through my black belt in taekwondo.

I earned my black belt at the age of 12. This sounds impressive, but considering that I started taekwondo at the age of 5 and went to class twice a week kind of explains my youthful accomplishment. I started as a little ninja. Literally.  Little Ninjas was the name of my class. My dojo was located at Seung Ni. My mother enrolled me and my older brother in little ninjas as soon as we arrived to the States. Being adopted from Russia, I learned how to front kick before I learned how to speak English. The more I learned about taekwondo, the more I fell in love. I looked forward to the two days of the week that allowed me to kick, punch, and do inner power yells known as a “Kiyap”. The owner of Sueng-Ni was my master, a.k.a. Master Gary. He encouraged me to give 110% effort into the techniques taught at the dojo. Since we were very committed to our weekly lessons, it didn’t take long for me and my brother to rise in the belt levels.

The black belt test is the hardest test of all the belts, obviously. Black belt camp was mandatory to do in order to test for a black belt. Black belt camp was the devil. We had to condition, spare, run, and do other vigorous activities every weekend at Seung Ni. I wasn’t really in favor of the sparing aspect. I was a 12 year old girl that had to go against other students raging from teens to adults. It’s a good thing they teach self-control because my opponents could have done some serious damage.

When it came to test day, I was so ready. The test involved doing forms which are basically memorized movements, but with perfected techniques. I was the queen of forms. I knew exactly where my low block had to be placed, and where my feet would have to be positioned. One wrong angle of your foot and the stance could be a “back stance” instead of a “cat stance”. I drilled forms every week, so the forms became muscle memory. Not a problem for me. Breaking four wooden boards with a flying side kick, slight problem. I was nervous when Master Gary called my name to break the boards. Petrified. My heart jumped and the pounding in my temples would not stop. I had a killer flying side kick, but using it to break the boards was a different story. There was a barrier I had to get through.

So I stood in front of the boards from a distance. Master Gary stood there, holding the boards, bracing himself for the impact. Don’t stutter when running. Tuck in your leg when jumping. Hit the center. Don’t hold back. I kiyapped with all my might, ran with agility, jumped at the perfect distance, tucked and extended my leg. I felt the strength of my momentum against the boards.

I didn’t break them.

I didn’t break the stupid boards. They just laid on the floor, unbroken. Master Gary allowed me to try again, but I never broke the boards. I was commanded to sit back down. Why tears didn’t flood, I don’t know. My pride was torn down by those stupid wooden boards. Master Gary showed mercy. He said the students that did not break the boards would be given another chance. So once again I would have to face my fear. The next weekend there was a chance to redeem my failure. So here I was again. I had to try again and again that weekend. I failed every single time. I was beyond frustration. 

After the third week since the test, I was at Seung Ni, attempting to break the boards. Finally, Master Gary said that if I don’t break the boards with in the next three attempts, I wasn’t going to pass. Anxiety rushed into my chest. The first attempt was a failure. I remember looking at my mom when walking back to the position, she mouthed the words “just do it”. I ran so fast. It had felt like I was actually flying in the air. After I struck the boards, I fumbled down on the ground. I knew I broke the boards because I could feel my body gliding slightly longer. I had heard the snapping of the wood. I was filled with joy. I started running towards my mom with tears and the biggest smile on my face. Thinking about my determination that day still gives me chills. That moment was the most accomplished I have ever felt. My dream to become a supah fly ninja became reality.